Breaking the Shackle of the Image of the Fat Bitch

Lately, especially since this latest trouble with my family, I’ve been viewing myself the way I think that other people see me.  When I look at myself that way, what I see I don’t like.  I see a fat woman with three chins.  I see a face with a lot of moles.  I see someone with legs like two great big cooked turkey drumsticks, meaty up top and bony at the bottom.  Then I start to the see myself through the eyes of the people who don’t like me.  I see someone who sits alot. Someone who is quiet and … Continue reading Breaking the Shackle of the Image of the Fat Bitch

The Man of the House?

You know if I was living rent free in my sister’s house I could see having to help her with the kids and the household chores.  I could even see her husband, who would be working (in theory) to maintain that house being pissed off when I didn’t.  The fact is, I live in my mother’s house.  My brother in law doesn’t pay a dime to keep up this house: no rent, no utilities, nothing.  I stay in my own space and mind my own business, even when I see him acting like a complete ass to his wife and … Continue reading The Man of the House?

Crossing the Rubicon

Have you heard the expression, “Crossing the Rubicon?”  The Rubicon is a river in Italy.  During the late Roman Republic no private citizen was allowed to have legions (large companies of soldiers) within the city of Rome.  I suspect that law was made prevent rich men with money enough to afford a private army from setting up a military dictatorship.  Back in 49 B.C., Julius Caesar led the 13th legion across the Rubicon and into Rome.  At this point, Caesar uttered the famous words, “the die is cast.” Meaning that he had crossed a point of no return, both literally … Continue reading Crossing the Rubicon

I have to break up with my sister.

My sister has managed to convince me to put her needs and those of her family before my own for the past two years while simultaneously trying to shame me for not making my life completely about her and what she needs.  I have slowly but surely started to HATE her for it.  It became so clear while her asshole husband was shouting at me.  They are trying to use me and they are angry because I won’t allow it.  They are trying to make me feel guilty for putting myself first while trying to justify their own need to … Continue reading I have to break up with my sister.

Finally

I’m not writing this to start shit, I’m writing this because it been in my head for the last two days, I haven’t been able to think about little else or even sleep.  My sister and her husband have tried to bully me.  I’ll be generous here and say that they have bad boundaries.  They seem to think that they can say whatever they want to me and speak to me however they want and not only am I supposed to accept it, in the name of family, but I’m not supposed to say a word about it.  In the … Continue reading Finally