Sometimes I feel like this, like everyone is watching me and judging me. Judging me for being fat. Judging my clothes. Judging my makeup. I went out of my way so that people would ignore me. I didn’t want to call attention to myself. Because of this for the longest time I wouldn’t wear makeup. But since I started this journey of loving myself as exactly as I am today, I’ve decided to wear makeup again. After all, I’m not really dressing up because I want other people to look at me. I’m dressing up because it makes me feel good when I think I look cute. All right, so maybe 20% of me dressing up is wanting to appear attractive to other people, but a full 80% is because I enjoy getting made up and dressed up, because it makes me feel good about myself.
Today, I put on a lip, a bright reddish lip. I knew that I wasn’t going to work. I knew that I was probably going to spend the day writing and cleaning, but I put on a lip anyway. I undid my braids and fluffed up my fro and I took some pictures.
I felt instantly better about myself because I made an effort to take care of myself, to look good for myself. Most of the time I work from home, but I think that I’m going to continue to make an effort to doll myself up. It makes me feel good.
Thanks for Reading,