Character Spotlight: Piper Chapman-Trust no Bitch

Piper and Stella

During a moment in the chapel in the third season finale, Piper tells Stella that she doesn’t trust anyone.  I call bullshit.  Piper– who is one of the most oblivious people on TV–has easily trusted Stella based on the rather flimsy reason of being deeply attracted to her.  Think about it. She has told Stella all about her panty business: how she gets them out of the prison, the location of the cell phone that allows her to access her money, and how much money she is pulling in a week. It seems almost inevitable that the Stella would betray Piper and rip her off. If Stella didn’t have Piper’s nose wide open, perhaps Pier would have seen what a truly sketchy person Stella is.

Piperand stella3

We don’t know anything about Stella’s past and neither does Piper. We do see how Stella continually tries to come between Alex and Piper.  She casually wonders why Alex is a partner in Piper’s business if it was Piper’s idea in the first place. She also mentions to Piper that she wouldn’t put up with Alex’s jealousy after Alex rightfully confronts them about hooking up. If Piper weren’t so naive, so wrapped up in her privileged mindset of. “The universe will work it out for me.  The whole world operates for my benefit, to protect me,” perhaps she would have seen all the warming signs or at least realized that she was telling a complete stranger all of the details of her criminal business.  Stella is a lying bitch.  She wouldn’t have come clean to Piper about stealing money from Piper (She stole not some , not a little, but all of her Piper’s fucking money) if Cal hadn’t discovered the theft and informed Piper. It’s hard not to think that Stella was planning this for awhile.

Piperand stella4

Not dumb ass Piper has set Stella up. Instead of getting out of Litchfield, Stella will be sent down to maximum security prison.  Piper gloried in that moment, in her criminal genius. Yet impulsive, criminally narcissistic Pier has failed to consider that Stella could easily turn on her and rat her and her panty business out.  This would guarantee Piper an extended stay in the prison that she hates.

Piper and Stella 1

It’s hard to feel sorry for Piper.  She was sentenced to 15 months in jail.  She probably could have been out earlier with good behavior.  Piper has been to SHU twice and she has been sent  to a way shittier prison.  She knows all the perils of being incarcerated and what does she do?  She starts a criminal enterprise almost guaranteed to extend her stay in prison. She claims that she is doing it for the money, but in truth she is doing it for the thrill of being bad.  Piper is a thrill seeker yet she never wants to face the consequences of that behavior, which is why prison has been so difficult for her.  She is actually being forced to take responsibility for a mistake that she made.  Piper wants to fly close to the flame but is surprised when she get’s burned.

I hope that Stella burns Piper or one of her panty girls who she is selfishly and greedily exploiting. It’s like really, bitch? You’re making 3600 dollars a week off your fellow inmates and you’re paying your employees in sodium packets? Piper is pissed off about the prison exploiting her, but she is doing the same to the women that she lives with. This bitch hasn’t learned a thing by being in Prison.


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