I went to the doctor today and I got several pieces of good news. So for the past three years I thought that I was diabetic. It was hard for me to process at first. I have avoided taking my blood sugar. The medicine they had me on had bad side effects, so I just stopped taking it. My mother has been frantically worried about me because of this condition that she has and that runs rampant on her side of the family. So I went to the doctor to today after I had labs done last week. My A1c is 6.3. I don’t have diabetes!!! I have prediabetes, which means that I’m at risk for developing diabetes unless I make some lifestyle changes. But I don’t have diabetes now. My cholesterol is awesome. Even my iron levels are good.
The Bad news: my knee pain has been really bad. The doctor finally has a working theory of what is wrong with it. He thinks that I have tendonitis in the patella on the side of my knee. There is nothing wrong with my knee cap. He prescribed physical therapy. He also wants to see my knee again after I have had about three weeks or so of physically therapy.
The doctor wanted to talk to me about bariatric surgery. That is weight loss surgery for those who don’t know. I gave an emphatic no. I have reduced the amount of stress in my life. I’m no longer teaching and that was a big source of stress for me. Now I have time to pay attention to my eating and to workout. I don’t need nor do I want surgery. I can lose weight through diet and exercise.
I was a little pissed when I came home and mentioned the surgery to my sister. She actually suggested that I have a surgery that will resection my stomach to the size of a thumb. I was disgusted. I don’t want any surgery. Besides, that surgery never addresses the root cause of your disordered eating in the first place. But it made me mad that she suggested that I actually consider it. But then my sister has also suggested that I try out for that hateful TV show, The Biggest Loser. I’m going to take good care of my health. I will change my eating habits and work out, but I’m not so desperate to lose weight that I would go to any extremes.
I’ve been realizing lately, as I consciously attempt to love myself despite my size, that my problem with my body is more about how it feels than how it looks. I think that I might be okay with being fit, but fat. Maybe not this fat, but not super skinny either.
Thanks for Reading,