Out and About

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Today I had some errands to run and since my Karenmobile is still in need of repair, I had to walk and bus it.  Usually, I am very self conscious and very loathe to be fat in public, but since I’ve made a conscious effort to stop hating my body just because it is fat, my life has been radically different.  Not only did I go out today and be fat in public and on public transportation, but I went sleeveless.  

I have spent many years hating my arms.  They are really fat so I had declared that they were hideous and that I must protect the public from them and me from being reviled on their behalf.  I wouldn’t even wear tank tops in my own house when I was alone that was how much I hated my arms.  Yet today I went out in public in a sleeveless top.

I realized before I had gone half a block that I wasn’t wearing the right outfit for a day out.  I had taken great care with my hair and makeup, but I guess I had hurried through my clothing selection. My black pants had a huge scorch mark on the leg and tons of white cat hairs all over.  Also my top kept inching upwards to reveal my midriff.  I walked a long block to the bus stop, pulling it down self consciously.  Of course, I thought that everyone who came across me must have been marveling at how fat I am.  I went to the Rite Aid, the supermarket, and finally the Payless.  Payless has a great full length mirror so I decided to take some selfies,  I was taken aback by what I saw.

My first impression upon looking in the mirror was that I am absolutely stunning.  I also realized that I’m not as enormous as I thought I was.  I also noticed that my outfit was perfectly cute.  I have spent a large part of my life hating my body for being fat.  What a waste of time and energy.  I may be fat, but I’m not ugly.  My body may be large, but it is not grotesque or unnatural.  I’m not an alien life form, just a fat girl.  Whether I’m fat or thin, the sun still shines down on me, warming me and brightening my life.  I can still enjoy the summer and the world.

Thanks for Reading,

Love, 

Karen 

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