Finally

I’m not writing this to start shit, I’m writing this because it been in my head for the last two days, I haven’t been able to think about little else or even sleep.  My sister and her husband have tried to bully me.  I’ll be generous here and say that they have bad boundaries.  They seem to think that they can say whatever they want to me and speak to me however they want and not only am I supposed to accept it, in the name of family, but I’m not supposed to say a word about it.  In the last 48 hours I’ve been called:

1.  Lazy as in ” with your lazy ass”
2.  Selfish
3.  Miserable
4.  A bad aunt, daughter and sister
5.  I’ve been told that I want my sister to be my maid
6.   A liar.
7.  A shit starter
8.   Dramatic

Now I have to record all this so that later on I cannot be convinced that I’m making it all up in my head, remembering it wrong or being overly sensitive.

I stood up for myself, which if you know me you know  is rare.  I usually take other people’s bullshit and blame myself for doing whatever I must have done in the first place to make them so mad.  You see, I grew up with a bunch of yellers (my parents).  I didn’t think anything of it at the time because they are my parents and quite frankly your parents can and do say anything to you.  There will always be an unequal power relationship there.  They gave you life and have always taken care of you.  My mom still shouts at me.  I’m 37, but that doesn’t mean that I still don’t have to take it.

My sister’s husband doesn’t get to yell at me, period.  He doesn’t get to rage at me.  He doesn’t get to raise his voice at me.  He doesn’t get to throw a tantrum directed at me.  I’m not his child.  I don’t live in his house.  The only man who could speak to me like that is my father and he’s been dead five years.  I’m the oldest person in this house.  I don’t speak to him like that so he sure doesn’t get to speak to me like that.

My sister and her husband came downstairs yesterday morning, into my basement bedroom and started screaming and carrying on.  They attacked me while I was still in my bed.  They (for they are man and wife and thus are one, as that piece of shit informed me) said horrible things about me that I will never forget.  They were pissed because after my sister sent me a hateful email( You can read that here) I sent her one back.  I stood up for myself.  I’m not taking any one’s abuse.

I should be proud of myself because for once I told that asshole that my relationship with my sister is none of his fucking business and that my father is long since dead.  I also called him a baby.  He’s worse.  He’s a bully and a spoiled little worthless boy who throws tantrums, trying to intimidate me to get his way.  It didn’t work.  I even told these ungrateful bastards that I wouldn’t watch their kids for them since apparently I don’t do it right.  They claim to let me watch the kids to allow me to spend time with my nieces and nephew.  How gracious of them.  Those two motherfuckers came at me every which way, but I wouldn’t let them break me.  I’m not going to be bullied.

My bitch sister actually had the nerve to say hi to me this morning as if nothing happened.  Of course nothing probably happened in her mind.  Her husband blew off a little steam and then the rest of the weekend she and he laughed it up with his sisters while I cried and couldn’t get their hateful words out of my head.

When you are fighting with family, you just can’t say whatever the fuck you want and expect to remain family.  I didn’t say half of what I could have said.  I held back, not wanting to go down a road that I could never come back from.  They not only walked down that road, they ran down it singing and throwing confetti.  There is no way to salvage any kind of relationship after that.  Stay the fuck outta my face and outta my way.  I’m so keyed up my nerves are bouncing like ping pong balls because I keep waiting for them to come down here and attack me again. I keep tensing up every time I hear footsteps on the stairs. No wonder I can’t sleep. I can’t relax.

Hopefully,  I will have moved out by the end of the month.  I hate both of them because since they are man and wife, what he said to me, she said to me.

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