Is My Sister My Friend?

Long time readers will recall a previous post about the issues that I am having with my family.  You can read the post here.  A couple of days ago, I  had a big blow up with my sister.  It’s been building for awhile.  I thought that I was okay with my sister.  I really did.  I haven’t spoken to my asshole brother in law since July, but I thought I was okay with my sister.  I do things for her and she does things for me.  We talk.  We have fun and we hang out.

I miscalculated my budget and ran out of money two days before I was receiving my paycheck.  I asked my sister if I could borrow 20 bucks until payday.  She got upset.  Her major problem was that she didn’t want me asking her for money in earshot of her husband.  Her issue is that it is not her money.  She is not making an income right now.  It’s his money and we are not getting along right now (her words not mine), so she can’t let him know that she is lending me his money.  Especially not since my mail order packages arrived at the house this week which indicated that I had enough money to go shopping and should therefore not have to ask my sister for her husband’s money.

I flipped out.  I called her names and let her know that I was done with her husband.  I also told her that I don’t give her shit when she asks me to babysit so she shouldn’t give me shit about borrowing a few bucks until payday, especially since I always pay her back. She actually argued that my babysitting wasn’t for her, it was for my nieces and nephews.  As if they needed me to watch them so their mommy could go out.  She was upset that I was pissed at her and went outside and cried.  I heard the asshole tell my nephew, right outside my door, “I’m mad that your mommy is crying over someone like THAT!”

When I calmed down, I realized that I wasn’t upset about 20 lousy dollars.  I was upset at my sister for allowing her husband to treat me like shit on her behalf.  I sent her a text message:  “All right,  I need you to know that this fight we had was not about 20 dollars.  It was about the way your husband treats me.  He treats me with a level of rudeness and disrespect that I’ve never shown him and that I don’t deserve.  I also feel that while you would never allow me to speak to you about Jai in a nasty way that you never stick up for me when it comes to him.  That really hurts me because I couldn’t imagine a scenario in which I would let someone in my life speak to you or about you disrespectfully.  I’ve overheard him say some pretty nasty things about me and I haven’t heard you defend me once.  We’re not getting along right now because he came out of his mouth and disrespected me in your defense.  That’s bullshit.  I’m not going to get into who does what for whom.  That’s not the point.  The point is that I don’t involve myself in your marriage and he has no right involving himself in our sisterhood.  I also don’t call him out for all the things I believe that he should be doing for you but doesn’t because that’s not my business.  I’m sick and tired of respecting him and your marriage and not being respected in return.  I love you, Trisha.  But I shouldn’t have to take that from your husband.  Also I heard him bad mouth me to Jai Jai.  That was low.  I’ve never involved the kids in our mess.”

My sister hasn’t spoken to me since or replied to my text.  I used to consider my sister my best friend.  I see now that she is just my sister. I knew that I was done with my brother in law, but I think that I’m done with my sister too.  Well, I’m done with my sister being my friend.  She will always be my sister.  But I can’t allow them to treat me like this and it blows my mind that she thinks that I should.   I’m in the process of applying for a new apartment.  Hopefully, I will be out of my mom’s basement no later than January.

Thanks for Reading!


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