I have been living in the basement of my mother’s home for almost a year now. I’m ready to leave. My sister and her family (3 wonderful kids and a jackass) live here and have been living here for 4 years. I never thought that living with family again would be so difficult. I can’t stand it anymore.
When I moved in, my sister and I had an arrangement. I would wash all the dishes and she would cook for me. She doesn’t cook special meals just for me. She would cook enough so that I could eat too. I also had to give her money for groceries. I would also clean up after myself and try to help her out with the kids whenever I could. That seemed fair. There were problems right away.
Within the first two months of living with my sister and her family, I got into a huge fight with my brother in law and my sister over the dishes. Who fights over dishes?!!! It was a Sunday and they wanted me to wash the dishes so that they could cook dinner. I took my time washing the dishes. I didn’t realize making dinner was an emergency. I spent most of the day on my computer, (I was heavily addicted to the games on Facebook then) and I would notice out of the corner of my eye, my brother in law, the jackass, watching me. I didn’t realize it until later that he was livid that I hadn’t washed the dishes in a few days. I don’t want to go into the entire fight because it still pisses me off, but there were tears shed, but we made up. I thought that I had made it pretty clear though that I didn’t appreciate the jackass raising his voice to me (he won’t have me raising my voice to him) or telling me what to do. I’m not Jackass’ child. This is my mother’s house and Jackass doesn’t pay a bill here. I thought I made it clear that he needed to mind his own business and not feel the need to “speak” to me for my sister. I guess not.
Jackass and I have had a few run ins about dishes, cleaning the stove and now garbage. He seems to think that it’s okay for him to curse and yell at me over household chores. I have had enough. Before this last incident I was always much happier when he was at work and uncomfortable in his presence. He’s a loudmouth and has no respect for anyone. I’m done with him and I’m livid with my sister.
Yesterday Jackass had the nerve to say from the kitchen “Your fucking sister and the garbage cans.” I didn’t hear what my sister said in response but he said, “What? What she gonna do? Tell your mom? She ain’t my mother.” Now keep in mind, jackass knows that I can hear him. He knows because we had a fight over Thanksgiving regarding a similar instance. I was disgusted and irate and more so when I heard my sister respond, “Baby, please for me. I don’t want to make things worse.” My sister doesn’t defend me or tell her jackass of a husband not to speak about her sister that way. They don’t even check to see if I’m in the basement or not.
There are few things that piss me off to no end about this situation:
- Jackass doesn’t lift a finger in this house. The only chore he has is to take out the garbage and recycling once a week. Last week he was bitching about my sister having to be the one to move the garbage cans back to the house after the garbage man came. So I decided to do it this week and I get cussed out? I think he is trying to shame me into handling the trash so that he doesn’t have to do anything but go to work. Not going to happen.
- The man has three kids and their care falls completely on my sister. Yet, he had the nerve to complain that I don’t help her.
- I don’t curse or yell at Jackass. How dare he treat me like this and how dare my sister allow him to speak to or about me in that way.
- I do plenty to help my sister, but it seems like it’s never enough for either of them. Can you say “ungrateful? “
- I don’t have to help my sister take care of her three kids. I do things with the kids because I love them and enjoy being around them. I’m under no obligation to help my sister with them or with the housework. I live in the basement and since a run in with jackass a week ago, I don’t even go upstairs. I don’t ask my sister to clean up down here, she doesn’t cook for me (and hasn’t in awhile). If she needs my assistance she needs only to ask. I don’t tell my sister no.
- I keep racking my brain and wondering why these two (my sister claims that this issue has nothing to do with her. She’s wrong) think that I have to do any favors for them. Why are they entitled to my assistance?
As a good person, I want to help other people out. I don’t want to be selfish. I want to make other people’s burdens lighter. But if I’m helping you out then you better show some gratitude and not bitch and moan about what else I could be doing for you.
I’ve made a few important decisions. I’m staying in the basement. Not forever. I’m in the process of getting certified to teach in Pennsylvania and I hope to be out of here by Christmas. But for now, I live down here and I’m staying down here. Luckily, I have a fridge down here and I can buy my own food. I’m not talking to my sister or jackass. I will still do things for the kids. It’s my duty as their aunt. But I’m not taking disrespect and ingratitude from those two assholes any longer.
The next time my sister asks for a favor, I just might make her get on her knees and beg.