It’s been two days since the panic attack that led me to seek treatment at two different hospitals. I am back on my medication and I am taking an anti anxiety medication 3 times a day. I still feel the panic wanting to rise up, but I realize that it is irrational and I don’t feed into it. Also the anti anxiety medication keeps me so relaxed that it is almost impossible to panic.
Today, I finally felt normal. I can read again. I have written some poetry.
Yesterday, I went from being generally anxious to feeling as if I wasn’t fully in my skin. Most scary, I felt that I was on the brink of losing control. I had no idea what would happen when I finally did lose control, but I know that I feared it. I was so anxious that I could barely eat. Anxiety and anxiety about my anxiety prevented me from thinking about anything else.
This is a hard lesson learned. But I will never stop taking my medication again. I have been following this same pattern for years. I will take the meds feel better and then go off the meds. This time, I thought that I was fine, until one day I woke up and had a panic attack. The most terrifying experience of my life.
Thanks for reading!