Recovering

It’s been two days since the panic attack that led me to seek treatment at two different hospitals.  I am back on my medication and I am taking an anti anxiety medication 3 times a day.  I still feel the panic wanting to rise up, but I realize that it is irrational and I don’t feed into it.  Also  the anti anxiety medication keeps me so relaxed that it is almost impossible to panic.

Today, I finally felt normal. I can read again.  I have written some poetry.

Yesterday, I went from being generally anxious to feeling as if I wasn’t fully in my skin.  Most scary, I felt that I was on the brink of losing control. I had no idea what would happen when I finally did lose control, but I know that I feared it. I was so anxious that I could barely eat.  Anxiety and anxiety about my anxiety prevented me from thinking about anything else.

This is a hard lesson learned.  But I will never stop taking my medication again.  I have been following this same pattern for years.  I will take the meds feel better and then go off the meds.  This time, I thought that I was fine, until one day I woke up and had a panic attack.  The most terrifying experience of my life.

Thanks for reading!

 

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